Tag Archives: Step1

Chronic care – saw some patients. Two hours of lecture on prescription writing – aka write legibly and pay attention. The real elephant in the room though was of course we received our Step 1 scores today. All of us looked up our scores differently. I wouldn’t open the email until I was back at my house all alone where others opened theirs while driving to work in the morning! I definitely would have crashed. I came out of the 8 hour nonsense test last month feeling horrible, worried about passing, and upset that I had wasted two years of my life. Anyways today, I’m sitting at my couch, finally alone and able to just think of this one thing. I had to calm down, slow my breathing, pray, and remind myself again and again that I’d given my all and that I could do nothing more. I opened it, heart pounding, sweating, feeling some chest pain (probably in need of a little nitroglycerin), and almost cried from relief. I passed and even beat my original goal. The beautiful thing about my score is that I’m not limited. Most residency programs have a cutoff and I’m above what I need for anything I’ve considered. So excited and happy, but most of all relieved. No more golgi apparatus or endoplasmic reticulum or IL-8 or any of the things that only matter to researchers for the rest of my life! Haha well unless I go into research but at the moment, that is HIGHLY doubtful! Some of the best students (intelligence, compassion, and just pure doctoring skills) I know did not do as well as expected. Clearly the test doesn’t demonstrate some of the most important qualities. I’m just disappointed that we’re judged on test scores that really don’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Regardless, I can finally look back at this monster of a test for which we spent two years preparing, raise my hands, and say, “I did it.”

“But I will trust in you, O Lord. I say, ‘You are my God.’ My times are in your hands.”